The Apocalypse Cometh…. The Beer Flu
Apr. 9th, 2020 06:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sidhe_faerie Well, here we are at the apocalypse ….. the Beer Flu. Okay so it's not really a flu and you don't get it from drinking beer. Boy, wouldn't that sober up a lot of people. (Pointing at my redneck neighbor with the beer in his hand.)
It's been awhile since there's been a pandemic of any kind. I think the last one was in the early 1920s. Don't quote me on that. I could be wrong. That one was influenza and the death toll was pretty heavy.
Also pandemic is a weird word. It makes me think of panic. Maybe that's the point. It's an epidemic meant to cause panic. Well, take a deep breath and find your courage because you're going to need it to get through this. No panicking allowed.
On a serious note, if you are old as dirt or have any type of breathing or immune system issues, you need to be careful. The Beer Flu thinks you're tasty. This also applies to brand new babies. Pandemics tend to kill the young, the old and the infirm. That's just how they roll. Sadistic bastards!
If you didn't hoard toilet paper and hand sanitizer like your neighbors, don't panic. Remember that's what the Beer Flu wants you to do. So don't. You can always make friends with that crazy prepper with the bunker in his basement next door if you run out of toilet paper. Take them a casserole!
It's been awhile since there's been a pandemic of any kind. I think the last one was in the early 1920s. Don't quote me on that. I could be wrong. That one was influenza and the death toll was pretty heavy.
Also pandemic is a weird word. It makes me think of panic. Maybe that's the point. It's an epidemic meant to cause panic. Well, take a deep breath and find your courage because you're going to need it to get through this. No panicking allowed.
On a serious note, if you are old as dirt or have any type of breathing or immune system issues, you need to be careful. The Beer Flu thinks you're tasty. This also applies to brand new babies. Pandemics tend to kill the young, the old and the infirm. That's just how they roll. Sadistic bastards!
If you didn't hoard toilet paper and hand sanitizer like your neighbors, don't panic. Remember that's what the Beer Flu wants you to do. So don't. You can always make friends with that crazy prepper with the bunker in his basement next door if you run out of toilet paper. Take them a casserole!
There are simple things you can do to keep yourself safe. Some of them you should always do even without an apocalypse looming.
-Wash your damn hands with hot water and soap. You should be doing that anyway. Why do you need to be told again? Do it before you touch food and after you use the bathroom.
-Don't mess up your makeup! Touching your face, rubbing your eyes, and picking your nose are the Beer Flu's easiest ways in.
-Cover your spray! Cough or sneeze into a tissue or your elbow. It's your responsibility to keep your spray in check. Throw away that tissue and go wash your damn hands.
-Wipe it! Wipe it good! Use a disinfecting wipe on your phone, tablet and computer keyboard. Keep some handy if you share the computer. You may have washed your damn hands but there's always someone who forgets. Don't forget the game controllers and remotes!
-Be like Spock! Vulcans don't shake hands. Keep your hands and other parts of your body to yourself.
-Not today Satan! Cancel all meetings, gatherings, and hook ups that you can. The Beer Flu can't get you if it can't find you. Stay home read a book, stream something or play online games.
-Skype is your friend. If you have to take a meeting, do it online. (P.S. Naked Skype is fun too)
-Eat, Drink, and be Merry! Eat good food. Drink lots of water. Keep your stress level low. Stress lowers your immune response.
Damn! The Beer Flu found you….that sucks!
-If you're sick, get your ass back home and stay there! Nobody wants your germy ass anywhere near them. Go! Now!
-High risk is only fun when it's poker. If you're in one of the high risk categories contact your doctor. Follow the doctor's instructions like your life depends on it. It does.
-Call the Limo. If you have any flu like sickness with severe breathing difficulties or very high fever, call an ambulance. Do this even if you're usually healthy. Beer Flu isn't all that picky. It found you, didn't it?
Stay safe y'all and wash your damn hands!