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sidhe_faerieChains
Things can bind us like chains to memories and when those memories are of someone who has passed away then those chains are strong. The chains are sometimes broken when the thing that binds us is lost or destroyed but the memory remains.
Holding on to things to keep from fully grieving is unhealthy. I have seen firsthand what that can do to a person. It tears open old wounds over and over again that were never allowed to heal properly. When those things are lost or destroyed the grief is just as fresh as the moment it happened. Sometimes even more painful because the grief is not just for the object but for the memory connected to it.
I'm not saying that objects that hold memories are not important. Memories belong in the past. Moving on is always preferable to living in that past. A tangible object can bind you to a time, a place, or a feeling. When the object is lost it breaks the chain holding us to that feeling. Losing that object wont make you move on unless you want it.
Photos and ticket stubs are an example of this. We can relive a concert or an event that brings up happy feelings. They make us smile and remember the event just as it happened in our minds. These are precious memories but even without the ticket stubs and photos we can still remember the happy event with maybe less detail.
Conversely, a item from a lost love one can bring a memory of the moment they passed from this world. A ring or a pocket watch can take you back to the moment of grief. It's not uncommon to keep an object that once belonged to a love one. it ties us to that person for good or bad and sometimes in grief.
We bond an emotion to a thing. It happens on an unconscious level. Good or bad memories are bonded without regard to which they are. We embed them then we take them out and relive the emotion again and again.
Grief is a strange thing. It never really goes away. We may think we have gotten over the death of a love one but we never do. It hides in the back of our minds waiting to be called up to the front. Waiting to punch us in the gut all over again.
I have a bible marker from my grandfather and when I hold it, it reminds me that he's not here to comfort me to love me. I feel alone just like I did on the day he passed away. I was devastated on that day and I feel that emotion as fresh as the day it happened. I bonded my grief to that bible marker.
It's strange but I feel his presence when I hold that ribbon with his initials. It’s like something of him is still in it. Energy? Soul? I don't know.
The photos that I have of him remind me of happy times but they don’t bring the heavy sadness that the bible marker does. I see him happy and smiling and it makes me remember his hugs and his laughter.
I will never stop grieving him even when that bible marker turns to dust. The feeling might lessen but it will never go away.
Cherish your memories and the objects they are bound to but remember that life is the search for more memories in the future not the ones in the past. Be more conscious of the memories you bond to things.
Things can bind us like chains to memories and when those memories are of someone who has passed away then those chains are strong. The chains are sometimes broken when the thing that binds us is lost or destroyed but the memory remains.
Holding on to things to keep from fully grieving is unhealthy. I have seen firsthand what that can do to a person. It tears open old wounds over and over again that were never allowed to heal properly. When those things are lost or destroyed the grief is just as fresh as the moment it happened. Sometimes even more painful because the grief is not just for the object but for the memory connected to it.
I'm not saying that objects that hold memories are not important. Memories belong in the past. Moving on is always preferable to living in that past. A tangible object can bind you to a time, a place, or a feeling. When the object is lost it breaks the chain holding us to that feeling. Losing that object wont make you move on unless you want it.
Photos and ticket stubs are an example of this. We can relive a concert or an event that brings up happy feelings. They make us smile and remember the event just as it happened in our minds. These are precious memories but even without the ticket stubs and photos we can still remember the happy event with maybe less detail.
Conversely, a item from a lost love one can bring a memory of the moment they passed from this world. A ring or a pocket watch can take you back to the moment of grief. It's not uncommon to keep an object that once belonged to a love one. it ties us to that person for good or bad and sometimes in grief.
We bond an emotion to a thing. It happens on an unconscious level. Good or bad memories are bonded without regard to which they are. We embed them then we take them out and relive the emotion again and again.
Grief is a strange thing. It never really goes away. We may think we have gotten over the death of a love one but we never do. It hides in the back of our minds waiting to be called up to the front. Waiting to punch us in the gut all over again.
I have a bible marker from my grandfather and when I hold it, it reminds me that he's not here to comfort me to love me. I feel alone just like I did on the day he passed away. I was devastated on that day and I feel that emotion as fresh as the day it happened. I bonded my grief to that bible marker.
It's strange but I feel his presence when I hold that ribbon with his initials. It’s like something of him is still in it. Energy? Soul? I don't know.
The photos that I have of him remind me of happy times but they don’t bring the heavy sadness that the bible marker does. I see him happy and smiling and it makes me remember his hugs and his laughter.
I will never stop grieving him even when that bible marker turns to dust. The feeling might lessen but it will never go away.
Cherish your memories and the objects they are bound to but remember that life is the search for more memories in the future not the ones in the past. Be more conscious of the memories you bond to things.