sidhe_faerie: (Default)
 The Clear Head
Word Count:
275
Written for GYWO Alphabet Challenge

Confusion is a real problem to most of us
Doubt doesn't make life easy either.
Eventually you have to deal with both
Fortunately, you have a brain that has higher reasoning skills and if that doesn't work, you can pray.

Gods and Goddesses only hear what your heart says not your words
However, praying is never a bad idea.
It may help clarify what it is you really feel not what you think you feel.

Just remember to be true to yourself.
Keeping things inside only makes the doubt and confusion worse.
Learn to trust yourself and listen to your heart..
Many of us forget to do that and it just makes things worse.

Not everyone is perfect and don't get down on yourself if you are feeling unclear. 
Our mind can be a confusing place but eventually we all figure things out in the end.
Persistence and patience are your allies.
Quarreling with your mind won't help.
Remember to think things through carefully and you'll find yourself clear headed in no time.

Seriously, it will all get better.
Truth is in your heart and its there if you look for it.

Utilize visualization to make doubt and confusion go away.
Visualize your doubts and confusion and make them pop like bubbles.
Whatever it is just know you will figure it out

Xanadu wasn't built in a day.
You have to have patience.
Zooming through life only works for cartoon roadrunners.

Always remember to be true to your heart and honest with yourself.
Before long, your confusion and doubts will just melt away.
Clarity is just a process that we all have to go through.
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Is there a point to this? 

I wonder why I still do this. I don’t think I’ll ever manage to get published. I believe i have been wasting my time. At least, I feel like i am. It's totally frustrating me.

I write fanfiction all the time. I have regular readers. I have regular commenters. But its fanfiction and there is an interest in that. I'm not sure I could get the same interest in my original fiction.

I write fantasy and science fiction when I’m not writing fanfiction. It's not a really common thing. I like it so that's what I write. It's not everyone's taste. I know but i try to do it well.

I like to create worlds then go on adventures in them. World building is fun. Worlds can be anything and anywhere. Creating characters to go on adventures is fun too. I create creatures of every description from androids to shape shifting aliens. 

I've never gotten much interest in my original stuff. Once in a while, I get a comment but that’s rare. If I can't get readers on free sites how am I supposed to get people to pay to read my stuff.

I know that advertisement is important but I don’t know how to even go about it. Where should I advertise? Facebook? Tumblr? Twitter? Twitter? If I use those things then I’m relying on my followers to get the word out. It doesn't seem very effective.

Getting a publisher is another problem. What if no one wants to publish it? I could go the self-publishing route but I have no clue as to how to go about it.

Most writers get an agent but I don’t have money for that. I don’t have money for anything. That's part of the reason that I would like to publish something to get some extra money coming in.

Basically I’m stuck. Why should I bother writing anymore? Because I am compelled by a force greater than my frustration and self-doubt.
 

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 Writers Resolutions 2019
This year I’m taking a step back. I’m focusing on basics and smaller, more obtainable goals. I'm going to focus on behaviors not just word counts. Behaviors can be monitored and changed. Hopefully...

The Plan is...

Write! I have signed up for the Journeyman habit pledge at “Get Your Words Out.” The goal is writing on 240 days for the year. No word count goal this year.

Finish things. I have too many fanfic wips and I need to finish them before starting new things. I also have some original stories to finish. My goal here is to finish  one fanfic and one original story every month from the wip folder.

Get back to my original fantasy writing. I have been neglecting Dark Realms and Ogham-Duir for too long. My goal is a second series of Dark Realms and all of the larger Ogham-Duir wips finished.

I need to remember that flash fiction is my friend. Not everything that I write needs to be big epic like stories. My goal is to do more small bits and build up to larger bits.

I need to cut out distractions. I need to set aside a time every day to write. No phone. No online games. Just writing. My goal here is to not only write every day but write for a set amount of time every day.

And some other things ….

Go back to Puzzle Prompts and  Beat The Black Dog. I like those communities and they are very supportive.
Continue with Camelot Drabble. If it ain't broke…..

Clear out communities I don't want to or have not written in. This includes fandoms I not interested in anymore. Clutter on my journal feed is distracting.

Finally….

I need to set up a writing space. It needs to say this is where you write not nap or watch British TV shows. I've been writing on my tablet anywhere and everywhere too much. I need to sit in front of a computer in a chair in a space set up for writing.
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 What I Learned in 2018
Every year I look at the things that help or hinder my writing. This year i have a list. It's on the negative side but I hope to make it turn out positive by the end of the year. Some things are also included in my writing goals. Some things are easy to change but others are not. Fingers crossed as i give it a try.

My mood affects my writing.
The worse my depression is the less I write. Since there is no cure for Bipolar disorder, I guess I need to find a way to work through the depression. While that’s easier said than done, it is key to getting out of my word count and productivity slump.

I need to focus more on my writing.

My focus has been split the last year or so. I’ve been playing on line games instead of writing. While that’s fun it’s also time consuming. I’ve been wanting to cut back on the gaming for some time. I think now is the time

Writing needs a place and a time.

I have a dreary little corner where I write sometimes. I want to make it more of a writer’s corner. I was thinking of posters and a teapot. I would also like a cork board, genealogy charts, and timelines for my original fiction verses

I need to get organized again
When I was writing lots of words, I was organized. I kept a calendar of due dates to keep it all flowing. I have stopped doing that and I need to do it. Knowing what is due when and what I need to do to get it done is key to a good word count and a good writing habit.

I still have stories to tell.
I have lots of ideas. That's not the problem. That’s never the problem. I always have stories in my head. I just need to get them down on a word doc.

Some fandoms can be very motivating.
I recently reconnected with the Arwen part of the Merlin fandom. I had forgotten what it was like to feel like I was a part of something. Some of these writers were there when I first started to write fanfiction. It’s good to be back with them again.

Making connections with other writers.
I need to stop feeling like I'm all alone in this writing journey of mine. I know there are websites to join where authors encourage each other. I just need to find one that's right for me.

I’m sure I will learn more in the coming year. I do every year. Learning and changing is all a part of improving oneself. I will always need to improve.
 
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 Getting back into the habit…  writing habit that is

Looking at my word totals for the last few years and my failure to make word goals I realized that I needed a new approach to this writing thing.

Back when I started writing I wrote some words every day. It didn't matter how many just that I wrote. I had huge word counts back then. I wasn't even trying to make a goal back then.

I haven't reached my pledge goals for two years and I haven't done well with NaNoWriMo or Camp Nano. I'm getting discouraged with my writing. That's not good. I need to build my confidence up again. I need more success and less failure.

I've been with “Get Your Words Out” for a few years now. I'm going to try something different. Instead of making a word count pledge I'm going to try a habit pledge. Not the uber one but a more obtainable one.

This year my pledge will be writing 240 days for the year. I will be doing the Journeyman pledge.

Even if I only write 25 words a day. I will be getting back into the habit of writing. I will be finishing something. Finishing is good.

I may even forgo Big Bangs and Fests. Well. Maybe. I’m not going to hold myself to that one but I am thinking of not overwhelming myself with deadlines. I need to relax more and just create for the sake of creating.

I will go back to the monthly update posts and keep track of my words just to see how I'm doing.  Maybe next December I can go back to a word pledge. Fingers crossed!

Chains

Dec. 20th, 2018 12:21 pm
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Chains
Things can bind us like chains to memories and when those memories are of someone who has passed away then those chains are strong. The chains are sometimes broken when the thing that binds us is lost or destroyed but the memory remains.

Holding on to things to keep from fully grieving is unhealthy. I have seen firsthand what that can do to a person. It tears open old wounds over and over again that were never allowed to heal properly. When those things are lost or destroyed the grief is just as fresh as the moment it happened. Sometimes even more painful because the grief is not just for the object but for the memory connected to it.

I'm not saying that objects that hold memories are not important. Memories belong in the past. Moving on is always preferable to living in that past. A tangible object can bind you to a time, a place, or a feeling. When the object is lost it breaks the chain holding us to that feeling. Losing that object wont make you move on unless you want it.

Photos and ticket stubs are an example of this. We can relive a concert or an event that brings up happy feelings. They make us smile and remember the event just as it happened in our minds. These are precious memories but even without the ticket stubs and photos we can still remember the happy event with maybe less detail.

Conversely, a item from a lost love one can bring a memory of the moment they passed from this world. A ring or a pocket watch can take you back to the moment of grief. It's not uncommon to keep an object that once belonged to a love one. it ties us to that person for good or bad and sometimes in grief.

We bond an emotion to a thing. It happens on an unconscious level. Good or bad memories are bonded without regard to which they are. We embed them then we take them out and relive the emotion again and again.

Grief is a strange thing. It never really goes away. We may think we have gotten over the death of a love one but we never do. It hides in the back of our minds waiting to be called up to the front. Waiting to punch us in the gut all over again.

I have a bible marker from my grandfather and when I hold it, it reminds me that he's not here to comfort me to love me. I feel alone just like I did on the day he passed away. I was devastated on that day and I feel that emotion as fresh as the day it happened. I bonded my grief to that bible marker.

It's strange but I feel his presence when I hold that ribbon with his initials. It’s like something of him is still in it. Energy? Soul? I don't know.

The photos that I have of him remind me of happy times but they don’t bring the heavy sadness that the bible marker does. I see him happy and smiling and it makes me remember his hugs and his laughter.

I will never stop grieving him even when that bible marker turns to dust. The feeling might lessen but it will never go away.

Cherish your memories and the objects they are bound to but remember that life is the search for more memories in the future not the ones in the past. Be more conscious of the memories you bond to things.

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GetYourWordsOut: Year Eleven!
Pledges & Requirements | GYWO.net



Dreamwidth: sidhe_faerie
Livejournal: n/a
Previous name: n/a
Twitter: @SIDHEPRINCESS
Tumblr: @originalsunday
Birth Month:
Pledge: 240D Journeyman
Statement of writing goals: I need to get back in the habit of writing everyday
sidhe_faerie: (Default)
 It’s That Time of Year Again
Word Count: 283
Stop Challenge December 8, 2018

Winter is officially here. Yes, that time of year. I'm cold, I ache and I just want a blanket and a cup of hot tea. I really hate being cold. It's like torture and it makes me grumpy.

This isn't new. It happens every year, but I still don't like it. As soon as I get that first chill, I'm cold until May. Sometimes, I don't warm up until the last day of May.

Is it May yet? No? Damn

The cold is bad enough but I really don't like the snow either. Yes, it's pretty but it’s cold too. Slippery, cold, and annoying. I'm not very sure footed and I really hate boots (more than shoes.) Snowy steps and parking lots are like test of my ability to stay upright. Sometimes, I fail the test.

Seriously is it May yet? It needs to hurry……

What am I saying? It snows here in May sometimes. If the cold wet air hits the mountains just right then BOOM! Snow in May. Yep. It's really annoying then and it usually happens when I’m just starting to thaw out.

Not funny Mother Nature!

Okay, so I like where I live but Winter makes me rethink the decision to stay in the mountains every year. I could go south but the image of Santa in a speedo sneaks into my brain. I’ll give you a moment to think about that. Go ahead. I'll wait……

Okay, see what I mean?

I guess I'll just snuggle in my blanket with a hot cup of tea and wait until its warm again. Whenever that will be. Oh look! It's snowing. Isn't that just perfect?
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 FINAL THOUGHTS
FINAL WORD COUNT
16458
FINISHED: 5 Camelot Drabble prompts (#?, #338, #339, #340, #341), 5 Yahtzee Prompts (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5), Olicity Hiatus prompts #1 and #2, Merlin Anniversary Fest Fic, 3 blog posts (Scheme/Blog, Fangirl/Blog, Nano Blog )

Another disaster of a failed Nanowrimo. I really need to stop putting myself through this torture if I know that I wont finish. It's like I’m bashing my head against the wall on purpose.

I do blame depression in part but I should also take into account that I am not as focused on writing as I used to be. I’m still active in fandom and writing communities but that doesn't seem to help me want to write.

I need to get back to the reason I want to write. I want to tell stories. I want to take readers on adventures in fantastic places. I need to get back to Ogham-Duir and Dark Realms.

Fanfiction is great. Romance is great. Adventure Fantasy is better.

Anyone can write a formula romance but it takes guts to create a new world full of adventure. I misplaced my guts. They're probably under that stack of fanfiction and romance WIP’s.
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 WEEK 5
WORD COUNT
16458
FINISHED: Nano Blog

Just trying to squeeze every last word out of anything I can. It's not going to help.

I failed again.
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 WEEK 4
WORD COUNT
15769
FINISHED: Camelot Drabble prompt #341

Stick a fork in me...I'm done. I made it to 15K. I missed 6 days this week.

I cant believe that I used to finish this thing. Several times I finished this thing. Just another ugly reminder that depression sucks everything out of you. Even the good bits.
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 WEEK 3
WORD COUNT: 14798
FINISHED: Olicity Hiatus #1, Olicity Hiatus #2, Camelot Drabble prompt #340, Merlin Anniversary Fest Fic, 

I missed three days this week. I have lost all motivation to continue. That being said, I will still try for my goal of 25K. I may actually get there.

On a brighter note, I did finish my Merlin fic for the fest. I think i need a cover before I post it.
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 WEEK 2:
WORD COUNT: 11185
FINISHED: Personal Blog, Camelot Drabble Prompt #339

I've gotten more words on my Merlin Anniversary Fic. I still haven’t put a title on it yet.

I'm not making as much progress as I would like to but I am making words and I've only missed one day so far.

The Party

Nov. 13th, 2018 10:38 am
sidhe_faerie: (Default)
 The Party
Cedrick Fellows (Lord Wickson)/Lady Violet Bellmore
Prompt 5: Tinkle
Word Count: 515
 
Cedrick pulled Lady Violet into the hallway. “I don't know if we should do this now. Your aunt doesn't look happy that you brought me along. We may have to wait.”

“Nonsense! She's just going to have to get used to us.” Lady Violet eyed him closely. “Unless you're having second thoughts about marrying me.”

“No. I’m not.” Cedrick assured her. “We have an understanding and I’m not backing out of it.”

“Then let's go back in to the party and tell everyone our news.” Lady violet pulled on his sleeve.

Cedrick took a breath. “If you're sure…”

“I am positive.” Lady Violet took him by the hand and led him back into the ballroom. She led him to the middle of the room. “Everyone! Please settle down. Lord W and I have wonderful news. She nudged him. Don't we, darling?”

“Yes. Yes we do. Lady Violet has agreed to become my wife. We wanted you all to be the first to know. There will be an official announcement later this week.” Cedrick smiled at the stunned faces. “That was the reaction he expected. Well I suppose we should toast to it.”

Lady Violet took two glasses of champagne from a waiters tray. She handed one to Cedrick. “Here you are, darling.”

“Thank you, my love.” Cedrick held his glass up. “To my bride to be, Lady Violet.”

Cedrick clinked glasses with Lady Violet and took a sip. Lady Violet blushed and took a sip as well. The room was filled with the tinkling of crystal as everyone toasted to them.

Lady Violet’s aunt came up to them. She whispered quietly to them. “Girl! You must be daft. Are you in trouble?”

“My lady, I have been nothing but a gentleman with your niece. I am not a cad.” Cedrick proclaimed. “I have great respect for your niece.”

“I'm sure.” Lady Bellmore glared at him. “I know what you young gentleman get up to. I'm no fool.” She turned to her niece. “Answer me Violet and tell the truth. Has he been inappropriate with you?”

“No he hasn't. I am not in trouble but Cedrick will need an heir sooner rather than later.” Lady Violet winked at him. “Don't you, darling?”

Cedrick shifted on his feet and blushed. “Well yes I will but….”

“As long as it's not too soon after the wedding.” Lady x shook her head. “These young people today have lost their minds.” She threw up her hands and walked off.

Lady Violet giggled and took a sip of champagne. “That went well.”

“That could have gone better.” Cedrick took another sip of his champagne.

“Actually, I expected it to go much worse but the night is young and she may find her tongue soon.”  Lady Violet put her hand on his arm and nodded to a settee. “Sit with me and let them offer us well wishes.”

“Why do I get the feeling that you are always going to be a shock?” Cedrick patted her hands.

“At least, I won't be boring.” Lady Violet looked up at him with a smile.
 
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 Pretty Things
Cedrick Fellows(Lord Wickson)/Lady Violet
Prompt 4: Indulgent
Word Count: 519
 
Cedrick sat in the dressmakers shop  and watched as Lady Violet chose material and embellishments for several new dresses. He supposed he would find himself in this situation often. He smiled. He could deny her nothing and she knew it.

The seamstress gathered up the designs and samples and took them into the back of the shop. She could be heard giving orders to her workers.

Lady Violet finally turned and looked at him. “Why are you smiling. I just spent an obscene amount of money on dresses. You should be quite cross.”

Cedrick reached out and captured her gloved hand. “You do what you like. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am.” Lady Violet smiled back at him. “You spoil me so.”

“If I am indulgent, it is only to gain your favor, my love.” Cedrick gave her a heated look. “To be honest, you would be a vision of grace and beauty in a flour sack.”

“Cedrick, you will make me blush.” Violet fanned herself dramatically then gave him a wink. “I am the most lucky woman on earth.”

Cedrick rose to his feet. “I am the lucky one. I have married beauty and grace personified.” He kissed her cheek then whispered in her ear. “Not to mention the most passionate lover I have ever had.”

Lady Violet blushed and licked her lips. “Cedrick!”

Cedrick just laughed. He was sure he had gotten his message across.

The dressmaker returned. “It will be two weeks, my lord. I will send the bill to you by post.”

“Thank Mrs. Blythe. I shall send payment promptly.” Cedrick turned to Violet. “Are you sure you ordered enough?”

“I ordered plenty.” Lady Violet laughed. “Thank you Mrs. Blythe.”

Lady Violet took her husband’s arm and let him guide her out of the shop. She pinched his arm as soon as they were outside.

“What has gotten into you lately, Ced? You're practically giddy. Not to mention very amorous.”

“I'm just a newly married man enjoying my life.” Cedrick shrugged. “You know we should rest when we get home. Shopping is so very tiring.”

Lady Violet shook her head and whispered. “You just want to lift my skirts.”

“Yes. I do.” Cedrick admitted. He opened the door of the carriage and handed her up. He got in beside her and shut the door. “You know you wont object. You haven't so far.”

Lady Violet sighed dramatically. “So you indulge me and I return the favor by lifting my skirts?”

“I had no motive other than your happiness.” Cedrick pouted. “I was going to have you lift your skirts for me regardless. I can't help myself when it comes to you, my love.”

Lady Violet laughed then leaned closer and whispered. “Shall I lift them now? We could tell the driver to take the long way around the park.”

Cedrick knocked on the roof of the carriage and called to the driver.. “Branson take the long way. My lady wants to take in the sights.”

“Yes my lord.” The carriage lurch forward.

Cedrick pulled her into his lap and kissed her breathless
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Astoria Marketplace
Dragas/Aura
Prompt 3: Aromatic
Word Count: 515
 
Aura moved through the market of Astoria slowly. She was looking for the aromatic herbs that she used in her potions and salves. Some of the things she was looking for were from Lemuria.

She moved through the crowd of people unnoticed. She was dressed as a common Draconian. It wasn't like her to hide her identity but in recent days she felt a need for it.

As she neared the stall with the aromatic herbs on display she felt something pointy in her back.

“What do you want?” Aura asked.

“Your purse.” The gravelly voice said in her ear.

“You don't want my purse. You want to kill me.” Aura looked at the items on the cart. There had to be something she could use. She smiled when she spotted the brimstone. She scooped up a little and turned to face the man. “I'm not going to die today but you just might.”

The man laughed. “You're a witch. You can't harm me. Its against the law to harm human with magick.”

“In Una but we are in Zesra now and in the colony of Astoria. I can do as I please here.” Aura blew the brimstone into his face and snapped her fingers.

The powder ignited burning the human man and sent him screaming to the ground.

The crowd turned to see what happened. One of the guards came over and recognized Aura. “Princess, its unwise to be walking around unescorted.”

Aura sighed. “As you can see, I am able to defend myself. Take him to the dungeon. The King will deal with him.”

“Yes Highness but Prince Dragas would have us all flogged if he found out that you needed to do so. Come now and I will take you back to Crystal Palace.”

“I will get what I came for then go.” Aura turned to the merchant and bought several packets of herbs. She gave the man extra coin for the brimstone she had used.

When she was finished getting what she needed, she disappeared in a golden mist. She appeared in her sitting room at the castle moments later.

Dragas looked up his paperwork. “There was trouble?”

“How did you know?” Aura put her purchases on a table and took off her cloak.

“Your mode of transportation.” Dragas put down his pen. “I told you to take an escort.”

“Dragas, I am faerie, witch, and dragon. I can handle a man trying to rob me of my purse.  He is in the dungeon and he will need a doctor.”

Dragas raised an eyebrow at her but said nothing.

“I need tea.” Aura pulled the bell cord. “It's not everyday someone tries to rob me.”

Dragas stood up and went over to her. “Next time take an escort. You are the one thing in life I can't bear to lose.”

“I'm sorry I worried you.” Aura kissed him softly on the lips. “I'm not used to needing an escort.”

“This isn't Una.” Dragas reminded her. “Things are not as idyllic.”

Aura wrapped her arms around her husband and just held him. 
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 Mercy Postponed
Aura, Babycats, Myra, Puff (Myrdren)
Prompt 2: Compassionate
Word Count: 546
 
Babycats came out of the exam room of her vet clinic and smiled at Aura. “Myra is improving. The elixir from the book Lord Wyvern sent is really helping.”

“She stood up and walked around a little last night. I can't remember the last time i saw her do that.” Aura looked in the exam room and smiled. Puff was sitting next to Myra. They were both eating lollipops. “Puff tried to get her to go out in the garden this morning.”

“Puff will get her on her feet in no time.” Cats look at her friend. “What's wrong?”

“I was afraid if it didn't work we would have to….” Aura took a breath. “Help her through the veil. I prayed that she would get better but I wasn't convinced that she would.”

“I was thinking the same thing. She was in bad shape.” Cats looked in the exam room just in time to catch Puff getting two more lollipops out of the drawer. “Do you know how old they are?”

Aura shook her head. “They were hatchlings when the sanctuary was build. That was a long time ago.  There are only four of the original ten still alive.”

“Ten? I thought there was only eight.”

“A pair from each of the four elements and a pair of chaos dragons.” Aura explained.

“How did the others die?” Cats asked.

“I don't remember but it should be in the sanctuary records. You're thinking Myra wasn't the only one with the disease.”

Cats nodded. “I do.”

“Aunt Benna didn't say she recognized the symptoms.” Aura frowned. “Cats, should we give the elixir to Puff too?”

“I was going to suggest a smaller dose for him. He isn't like any dragon I know. He's not been living in a controlled setting at the sanctuary. His diet is very different.”

“Macaroni and cheese and apple cider?” Aura chuckled. “They don't serve that at the sanctuary. They eat mostly fruit and greens. Puff refuses to eat when hes up there. Since Myra has been with us he sneaks her food from the castle kitchen.”

“I hope he doesn't get caught.” Cats laughed.

“I think the head cook sees him taking things but decided to let him. He swiped a whole pie last night. She had to have seen him do that. He brought it back to our chambers and he and Myra shared it.”

“What kind was it?” Catx asked.

“Pumpkin.” Aura laughed. “Dragas came in just as they were finishing it off. He wasn't happy about the crumbs all over the floor. I made Dragas take the pie pan back to the kitchen for fussing at them. He came back with a plate of starrberry scones as a peace offering.”

Cats laughed. “Thats some peace offering.”

“I better get them back before they empty you lollipop drawer.” Aura took a step into the exam room. “Time to go. Say thank you to Miss Babycats.”

Myra bowed her head and Puff ran over and gave Cats a big wet lick with his tongue.

“Puff!” Aura sighed. “Sorry.”

“I'm a cat. It's what he does.” Cats hugged Puff. “See you soon.”

Aura grabbed Puffs tail and put her arm around Myra. “Thanks Cats.” The trio turned into a golden shimmer and disappeared.

Aftermath

Nov. 13th, 2018 09:57 am
sidhe_faerie: (Default)
 Aftermath
Cedrick Fellows/Lady Violet
Prompt 1: Arrogant
Word Count: 511
 
“I think we rather botched that. Your aunt was furious with us.” Cedrick said as the rode off from Lady Bellmore home after the party. “Now you have to marry me.”

“Well, that's the plan.” Lady Violet smiled. “Did you see the look of shock on Lord Westbury's face. I rather enjoyed put that arrogant fop in his place. He is so arrogant. I showed him. Well, we did actually.”

“Something I should know?” Cedrick frowned.

He thought he had me. He as much as told me so. He didn't ask he just assumed I would want him.” Lady Violet laughed. “He told me we would make the best babies together. As if id let him touch me. He looks like a chicken.”

Cedrick laughed. “Maybe a little hawkish. So he was going to ask for your hand? Was there anyone else that I should be worried about?”

“No. He was the only one.” Lady Violet thought for a moment. “Maybe Lord Dunstall. He may have thought he had a chance but he always corrects my grammar and goes on about history. He's a snooze.”

“What are my faults?” Cedrick took her hand. “I'm sure you can find a few.”

Lady Violet pouted. “You're new to this so I really can't say. You always seem most humble.”

“Well I'm not arrogant. Cedrick kissed her hand. “I have nothing interesting in my past and I don't look like a large fowl.”

“Ced, we all have things packed in boxes in the back of cupboards. You might see it as interesting but someone else might.” Lady Violet warned him.

“The only thing in the back of my cupboard is my last pair of short pants.” Cedrick laughed. “I have always been most unremarkable.”

“Until tonight.” Lady Violet caressed his cheek. “Now you are the cousin who inherited and miraculously won my hand. You'll be the talk of the town for months to come.”

“Is that why aunt was so blunt? Does she think I am beneath you?” Cedrick asked. “Or does she think I'm using you to get my foot in the door?”

Lady Violet blushed at the thought of him naked beneath her.

Cedrick raised an eyebrow at the expression on her face. “Are you feeling unwell?”

“I’m fine. My stays are too tight.” Lady Violet lied. “The things we women endure for fashion.” She looked away. “Let’s stop this nonsense about you not being a good match for me. I think you are and that's all that matters.”

Violet, I dont keep up with the gossip. Cedrick admitted. “I never have. I have always had other things on my mind.”

“Ced, one day I will catch you up but not tonight. I'm tired and the champagne is starting to hit me.” Lady Vilot rubbed her temples. 

“Another time then.” Cedrick kissed her hand again and they remained silent until they arrived at Wylding Manor.

Cedrick knew that there was something that she wasn't ready to tell him but he wasn't going to push. When she was ready she would tell him.

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